Top Signs You’re A “Covidiot”

You’re wearing surgical mask while smoking a cigarette

You have 100 rolls of toilet paper, but no food

You’ve tried cooking with hand sanitizer

You consider no foreplay a form of social distancing

You knocked over three elderly people at the supermarket

Costco took your membership card away

Even your dog is social distancing from you

You’ve quarantined yourself on the beach

You don’t understand why your favorite strip club is closed

You haven’t washed your hands since 2018

Your basement looks like the disinfectant aisle in CVS

You’re trying to sell Lysol for $50 a can

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