I'M DEAD. DECEASED. OMG.
A customer took to Facebook to write a scathing complaint on Starbucks' page, saying that this is the second time that they've ignored his request for soy milk instead of whole milk, and, well, it sounds like he's hurting for it.
"This is the second time I ordered a Venti Iced Coffe with Soy Milk this month where the Soy Milk request was ignored and regular milk was instead used. I've pooped 11 times since the A.M," Demit Santo wrote. "My bottom hurts from all the wiping. Do you think I enjoy soy milk? Does anyone enjoy soy milk? Really? I don't order soy mill because I'm bored and want my drink order to sound fancy. I order soy milk so that my bottom doesnt blast fire for 4 hours. I'm not a Charmander. Thank you for listening to my rant."
"P.S. I'm writing this from the comfort OF MY TOILET."
DYINGGGGG.
Poor guy!
photo via Getty