In this week's VICE Funbag, Drew Magary ranks the 12 most annoying cartoon characters of all time (these are HIS picks):
- Spongebob. I exist in a netherworld where I'm too old to have been reared on that show and also too old to have watched it while stoned in college. I have only experienced Spongebob as a parent, and it's miserable. Everyone on that show is screaming ALL THE TIME.
- Alvin the Chipmunk. No one over 6 likesAlvin & The Chipmunks. Kids ditch Alvin because he SUCKS.
- Mater. I remember watching Cars and realizing, for the first time, that Pixar didn't always have my best interests at heart.
- Porky Pig. Porky Pig is a tightwad, a loser and a pervert. He gives pigs a bad name.
- Donald Duck. A total a**hole. All he does is piss and moan about everything.
- Goofy. The original Mater. Just a big redneck.
- All the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If it weren't for the theme song, I wouldn't know the difference between any of them. Oh, they love pizza? WOW. Big quirk there.
- Jon Arbuckle. Just an endlessly pathetic loser. Serves no useful purpose to society. Disgusts all women within his radius.
- Spike fromTransformers. He's the kid who gets to hang with the Autobots even though he does nothing useful. All he does is become imperiled the second something bad happens, which is all the time.
- Sober Barney Gumble. There's no point in having Barney onThe Simpsons if he's not drunk and belching.
- Caillou. I worked the children's television beat for Deadspin for years, and in that time people said to me, "Drew, none of these shows are as bad as Caillou. Caillou is Satanic."
- Ruby. Ruby sucks. But hey, at least she ain't screaming all episode long like Spongebob does.
Personally, I disagree with nearly every one of this writer's picks, especially Spongebob... But, Caillou is the spawn of Satan. I can back that one.
What do you think? Who do you think is the most annoying cartoon character of all time?